wholettheblogout.com

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?’

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.

There’s a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

The president of ‘Budweiser’ orders a Bud, the president of ‘Miller’ orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on.

Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody’s amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!

“Why don’t you order a Guinness?” his colleagues ask.

“Naah. If you guys won’t drink beer, than neither will I.”

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, ‘Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken back, but she decided to just tell him the truth. ‘It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.’ Little Tony just said, ‘Oh, OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s Mom wants to talk to you.’

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old
next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to
come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong? He replied,
‘It was an ID ten T error.’ I didn’t want to appear stupid, but
nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to
fix it again.’

Eric grinned, ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’

‘No,’ I replied. ‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it
out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

WhoLettheBlogOut staff members were asked to associate a movie title with some of the biggest names in politics. Here’s what they came up with

Hillary Clinton: Sniper

Barack Obama: Buck and the Preacher

John McCain: The Falcon and the Snowman

George Bush: Dumb and Dumber

Dick Cheney: The Hunting Party

Bill Clinton: The Devil and Miss Jones

Ted Kennedy: The Bridge

Rudy Giuliani: Cousins

Mike Huckabee: Conversations with God

Rudy Giuliani: Clueless

More to come…

WhoLetTheBlogOut.com tackles the important issues so we decided to put this question to some very important people and find out once and for all Why the damned chicken crossed the road.

Here are the answers we got;

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. I estimate that it may take several years before we can bring all of the other chickens back to this side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road under heavy fire from snipers. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure– right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’ s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road…

50 CENT: The chicken crossing the road is my life story you know. The chicken crossed the road to get out of the hood for a better life as a rapper.

“Crazy chicken from the hood
Be like me, you wish you could
Crazy chicken crossin’ dat street
While Dre & Em produce the beats
I’m not a crow, I don’t caw caw
I’m a chicken, yeah I cluck cluck
Prevent me from crossin’ dat street bitch
and I’ll start to buck buck
Teflon on my chest
Chrome at my side
When I’m in the street
You better slow yo ride
I’m a chicken, thought I told you boy
I’m a G-Unit, muthafuckin’ chicken boy!”

Yeah that chicken has it goin on, man. He’s a real gangsta.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to bel ieve there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PARIS HILTON: To avoid the publicity surrounding the video of me with the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. Right now I am going to ask our legal analysts to give us their opinions on whether the chicken will be convicted or not.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ANGELINA JOLIE: Because I adopted the chicken.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Some body told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

TOM CRUISE: 2 reasons; 1. Because anti-depressants were on the oither side and society has convinced that chicken that he needs them. 2. Scientology teaches us that chickens cannot cross the road unless they join our church.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C%

STEVE JOBS: We have just released the iChicken will will cross the road for you anytime you want to cross any road. The iChicken will also come in several really cool colors and it comes free with the iClucker that downloads, stores, and plays all of your favorite music.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: The chicken only made it across the road because I misfired and shot the crossing guard who was a long-time friend, instead.

This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students: It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades. The spellings are the original ones.

WhoLetTheBlogOut’s Academic Department has decided to grade them and help them with a career choice.

1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. (I give this future dishwasher B-)

2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. (There are some Deacons that deserve this, so I give this future news reporter a B. Later he or she will be able to hold everyone over the flame as a part of the media.)

3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. (Well, this future fireman would be right if you could smell an odorless gas so C+)

4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin. (I give this future Bartender a C)

5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. (A C- for this student whose career in advertising should go well.)

6. Liter: A nest of young puppies. (And a D for this future Dog Breeder)

7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat. (D- and this one has no prospects other than say a correctional institution and i’m not talking about becoming a guard.)

8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away. (C+ for this future Wedding Planner or Hallmark Gift Card Writer)

9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives. (A C just because he spelled Vaccuum right. It will come in handy for his career as a Janitor)

10. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. (This future Veterinarian gets an A+ and his methods of artificial insemination will likely be illegal in most states.)

11. The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects. (C- for this person who will likley be the head of the NRA when he or she grows up)

12. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is. (A is the grade for this future Anchorperson. Their gift for the obvious will come in handy)

13. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. (I have to give a C- to this future Plastic Surgeon)

14. For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops. (B- for this future Emergency Room Nurse)

15. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat. (An A for this obvious Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctor)

16. Germinate: To become a naturalized German. (At first I thought George W. Bush wrote this. I give them a B and look forward to them running for President someday)

17. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. (And this one could very well have been written by John McCain, but I give it a C. This one is yet another student who will likely be incarcerated or become a politician or both. The qualifications are about the same.)

18. Blood flows down one leg and up the the other. (D. Brain Surgeon maybe.)

They all pass in today’s society and many of them have promising futures. The sad thing is that there are many adults who would have done worse than this.